This is a potted history of my spiritual life. Overall I have had a good life and most of it has been pretty normal and unspectacular. Putting it all together can make it sound more exciting than most of it was. But the real meaningful experiences I have had have been there to remember when life’s circumstances are trying.
My own theology now is that God created me way back in eternity. Psalm 139 v 16 says “Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days of my life were written, before ever they took shape, when as yet there was none of them.” AMP.
When we consider the miracle of our lives it is humbling to know we didn’t bring ourselves into being, our parents had a a part but had no power over most aspects. Its reassuring to know we were created for a purpose in God’s eyes, we have value, and we have power to make our lives better once we hook up with the God who made us.
In my Christian theology this God is a Trinity, 3 individual spiritual people who act as one. There is mystery in the Trinity, but really most of us have a working intuitive understanding of it. For me, I relate most to Jesus because He is a real man who I can imagine the easiest. And He said to Phillip in John 14 v 9b “He who has seen me has seen the Father” NASB.
I was born on 28 May, 1947 in Whakatane Hospital when my parents, Tom and Liz (Betty) Pinkham were living on a dairy farm in Te Teko. We went in succession to Waharoa, Tapapa and Tirau, where I first started going to Sunday School at the Presbyterian Church. I received my first KJV Bible from Mrs Mansell after learning several Bible portions by heart.
My first real miracle came when I was 5. I used to wet the bed and had kidney problems. I spent 6 weeks in Waikato Hospital and had 3 general operations where chloroform was used to put me out - remembered that smell for many years! This was in 1952 when kidney dialysis and transplants did not happen in New Zealand. When I had my last annual review at age 12, my surgeon Dr Bellfield told the intern with him that I was a walking miracle. I didn’t know what that meant right then. I know I overheard Mum say when I was about 16 “Murray will never have children”, but I have 2 now, Chantelle (b. 1978) and Joel (b. 1986) plus 2 between their births who passed early in incubation and who are in Heaven already (Wesley and David).
Once starting Putaruru High School at age 13 I stopped going to Sunday School, don’t know why, but over the next 15 years I would drop in to a service. Went to a few other services besides Presbyterian and talked to a few Christians. One young lady talked to me overnight on the train and said start reading your Bible and I did. At around age 26 I remember telling friends one of my life’s priorities was to get right with God, along with finishing my degree and getting married. After running with David Douglass many times I started at the Apostolic Church in Webb St in Wellington (Charisma Chapel) and after 2 months talked to Pastor James Worsfold and agreed to go forward that night, Sunday 1 June 1975 and give my life to Jesus. I felt nothing but that night I knelt by my bed at home and promised Him my whole life.
Only 1 month later I was reading my Bible and these words jumped off the page and in a real way came into me, from Matt ch 6 vs 25 to 34: portions, v 25 “Therefore I say unto you, take no thought for your life, what you shall eat, or what you shall drink; nor yet for your body, what you shall put on. Is not the life more than meat”…., v 26 “the fowls..they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much better than they?
v 33 “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness: and all these things shall be added unto you”. v34 to read also, “take no thought for the morrow” KJV, modernised somewhat.
My response was “Thank you Jesus, I never have to worry about that again!” For many years I didn’t even pray for provision, till I reread Matt 6 v 11 in the Lord’s Prayer “Give us this day our daily bread”. This Day. I see now that I received the gift of faith that day. Many a time since I have reminded God of those verses!
This was the first part of my calling to be the Chief Accountant at Radio Rhema. I was already a member after Hal Short came to our church to recruit us going door to door to sign up new members, and I signed up too just before I became knowingly born again.
In late July early August 1975 I received a newsletter from Radio Rhema (then called Gospel Radio Fellowship) and as I read I felt the presence of God over me and thought ”huh”. Then the founder of Rhema Richard (Dick) Berry visited our local Rhema committee meeting and as he was talking my legs started waving around, I thought “what?”
At that stage there was no more private broadcasting allowed in New Zealand under the then Labour Government led by Norman Kirk, who I had met while working in the Parliamentary Library. He died in that term - a great loss. Radio Rhema had tried under the previous National Government to get a licence but was turned down, by a board including chairman Reg Miller, a Christian, for several reasons, including not being able to show they could fund it. So all Radio Rhema could do was have a 1 day broadcast once a year on the day of their Annual General Meeting. The first was in Christchurch in 1974. The next one was to be in Wellington in September 1975. I took a week off from my job with the NZ Dairy Board to help out. I dug holes for the aerial site with Dennis Lashlie. When I met Dick Berry again and he found I had a degree in Economics he said, “oh, we need an Accountant”. The following Sunday at church I opened my Bible to Luke 11 vs 22 to 31, which is the parallel passage to Matt 6 vs 25 to 34 mentioned above. Then in the service there were several prophetic words given and I felt the presence of the Holy Spirit on me and heard the words about giving all for Jesus. I saw Dick a few days later and he suggested I come down to Christchurch and have a look at what was happening there.
Cutting a long story short I went there, where they already had a station premises at the site of the Glenfield Presbyterian Church and a mobile station in a bus and the aerial used at Wellington. They had rented office space in High St in Christchurch. And they lived by faith, and paid no wages, but I already had the faith. I read the words in James 2 vs 14 to 18, eg vs 18b “ and I will show you my faith by my works” KJV. I decided to say yes and shifted down from Wellington to Christchurch in Feb 1976, for my 10.5 year stint. Meanwhile, Rob Muldoon took the National Party to power in Nov 1975 and they promised to open up private broadcasting applications.
When we did the application for a licence, my job was to show where the money was coming from. I drew up the financial part of the application and presented it before the Broadcasting Tribunal led by Bruce Slane. I had to marry in the current finances with an interim period and 3 full years of broadcasting, so five years in all of projected Profit & Loss and Balance Sheet statements. Bert Oram ,our Auditor, who later married Lee & I, called the figures “sanctified guesses.” In the hearing, Murray Henshall, the Accountant on the Tribunal said you are not an Accountant, and I said an economist is a sanctified Accountant. All the Christians laughed out loud and Murray looked mystified, but left it at that. Other miracles happened, but in the end on May 1978 Radio Rhema got given its first licence in Christchurch on limited hours. It was the first Christian radio station in the British Commonwealth. Now 43 years later it has 3 full time radio stations and 1 Television station broadcasting on satellite to many locations right through New Zealand.
Being in that atmosphere as a young Christian was great for me.
One experience really impacted me. One day I was riding my 10 speed bike 10 km home to Mt Pleasant and I started doing a bit of a moan to God that I had a few bills and debts unpaid when suddenly He spoke and said “Have I ever let you down?” It was so real (to this day I can’t tell you if it was an audible voice) that I just straight away said “No Lord!” While I have pondered and wondered since, I have never complained to God again. In Joshua 21:45 we read “There failed no part of any good thing which the Lord had promised to the house of Israel: all came to pass”. When God promises He provides. Not always in our time or our way, Father knows best!
A note here about reading and quoting from the Bible. Sometime around 2010 I felt like God said to me “ Read what the Bible actually says and use your brain”. I could write a whole sermon here, but there are a few points:
Some people quote verses they have heard someone else say, but their memory or understanding may be wrong, or a long time ago. Relook it up, look at different versions. And, yes, most versions have errors
You might read something in the Bible but sometimes you need to think it through what it really means. Your understanding of a verse might be coloured by your own mindset or paradigm. Anyway, another blog subject…
My next story is about meeting Lee and our marriage. She was born in Sydney, Australia, had a Kiwi Dad, got married at 19 and had 2 children to Tony Cooper, Deanna (b 1963) and Brett (b 1967). They went to Fiji and after a time the marriage ended. In 1973 Lee & the children stopped off in Christchurch for a holiday with rellies and she got miraculously saved and then came to Radio Rhema as a secretary to Dick Berry. Legally she was separated, not divorced. As a young Christian I thought divorced people could not get remarried so we were just friends. The ladies at AOG were encouraging her and saying they were praying for Tony to be saved and the marriage restored. I was in Apostolic in Christchurch, with Pastor Billy Pearson, a Welshman anti divorce remarriage man, However, his wife Rose said to me, are you married? When I said no, she said would you like me to pray for a wife for you and I said yes.
I was a runner with the Presbyterian Harriers in Christchurch. While in Wellington I ran cross country and roads with Victoria University. I had just done a marathon at Rotorua in 2 hours 34 minutes 52 seconds, first 20km in 68 minutes. That weekend in August 1976 our team was going to run in the Takahe to Akaroa road relay race. Somehow we had organised to stay with the Presbyterian minister in Akaroa and Lee and Dea and Brett and Debbie Black from the Rhema office were coming in Lee’s 1963 Holden Special with me.
On the Tuesday before that weekend I was in the office in High St getting a file off a shelf, alone in that part of the office, when God spoke to me audibly “You and Lee are going to be married”. I said “what, say that again”, but He didn’t. I was shaken, but told nobody.
That weekend I went with Lee & the others, ran lap 8, 6.6 miles (10.3 k). After, we went to the manse. After tea, Lee & I went for a walk down the street (Rue Balgurie….) and stopped at the playground and sat on the swings and talked, a pure platonic occasion. I didn’t tell her anything, but took it all in, and told her God would help her in her situation.
The next Friday I was about to go for a run from my little bedsit in Papanui, then I just thought the word “Lee’ and suddenly the Holy Spirit overwhelmed me. I have heard of people saying they had to tell God to stop or they would die in some experiences, I thought yeah, but on this occasion I did think I might not survive. Eventually I came to, and I just knew that God was saying, “Do what you are told, don’t worry about your theology or whatever, just do it”. I see it now as God’s love for Lee passing through me.
The next night we were both at a Frank Houston series of revival evangelistic meetings, so I said to her can you come home with me, I need to talk to you. So we did, and she took it all in. I can still remember the look on her face, not literally, but being in wonderment. We had a brief kiss and she said she would pick me up in Cathedral Square after our respective church services. The following Tuesday I proposed on the bank of the Avon River and she said yes! That was September 1976. We married in 8 April, 1978. That was 44+ years ago now, a blessed time!
That is the next amazing series of events. Lee was still just legally separated. After 6 months of waiting for divine intervention I said to Lee to write to Tony Cooper in Fiji. Turned out in Fiji then he could not initiate divorce, but sent Lee a cheque for $309 by return mail so she could initiate the divorce in New Zealand.
That took another 6 months plus to do that and wait for decree nisi to become decree absolute. At that time both our churches did not approve of divorced people getting remarried. Apostolic has changed since, each occasion to be vetted by local elders, Assembly of God now leaves each local congregation to do what it thinks best. Its not the unforgivable sin guys. I have learnt more theology since, but in the end each case is up to the 2 individuals with God.
Our local Apostolic Church, with new Pastor Rex Meehan, asked Lee for her written history and agreed it met their own approval. They provided the wedding cake, a person to coordinate our “bring a plate, not a present wedding”. Rex could not marry us but came to the wedding and did the blessing.
While doing the Radio Rhema licence case in 1977, I got really exhausted. One day I saw a Christian calendar in the office with a beautiful photo of a lake and the words from Mt 11 v 28 “I will give you rest”. I said yes Lord, I claim that in Jesus Name! On our honeymoon in April, 1978, we stayed at Peter Yarrell’s holiday place in Arrowtown overlooking Lake Hayes. For 4 days on the way south, and 2 on the way back, we stayed there and just slept really well and it was a supernatural rest and peace. When I got back in the office I saw the calendar again - it was that very place where we stayed that the photo was taken of Lake Hayes!. God is good, He cares, He knows and He can get it done. When things are tough, don’t doubt God, just check in to make sure you are hearing, obeying and trusting.
In 1977 when we were preparing our case before the NZ Broadcasting Tribunal, one of the existing private radio stations in Christchurch was Radio Avon. In the case there was another private applicant for a commercial radio station licence, while ours was for a non-commercial licence. Radio Avon was primarily against the commercial applicant. During the hearings Radio Avon held a competition to promote a Good Times Discount Dictionary and were giving away 1 Bell Coloursonic III television set every day for 5 days. They delivered a copy of this booklet to every mailbox. The idea was every morning they would drive around and announce on air the street they were in, and announce that the first person they saw waving a Good Times Discount Dictionary would win the TV. When I got my book I prayed “Lord, they are giving these away for free, can I have 1 please, in Jesus Name”. The very next morning I was about to go for a run before work, so I turned on the radio to check the weather forecast. Then the announcer in the roving car said, “we are now in Mays Rd, Papanui, first one we see waving the booklet gets a TV”:. I ran out out and waved my booklet, and to my amazement, I saw the car and it pulled up beside me, and I won the TV! We took it to Lee’s place, this was before the wedding. It gave us 9 years of enjoyment. God is good!
But wait, there’s more! The next day in the Christchurch Press it was reported that yesterdays winner was a hitherto unsuspected listener, Mr Murray Pinkham of Radio Rhema. In the next hearing day just after the Radio Avon team all congratulated me, and also said they were happy for Radio Rhema to get a noncommercial licence.
Around 1983 I took Brett for a 3 day bike ride on my Suzuki 500 from Christchurch over the Lewis Pass, to the West Coast, up to Karamea then back to Greymouth then back over Arthurs Pass to Christchurch. Somewhere over the Lewis Pass God flashed a scripture into my mind, in King James English, “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” I said sorry if I have been proud. I have always remembered that experience. The Bible says its our job to humble ourselves. Asking God to humble us is not a scriptural prayer. If God doesn’t answer that prayer, who does?
In 1987 I was in between my Radio Rhema experience and my job in Auckland with Reclaim. Phillip Crothall, a Pastor with our Christchurch Apostolic Church, offered me a 1 day job helping to clean up from his renovations. Talking afterwards he said he believed I had been listening to a lying spirit and offered to pray for me. I said yes and he prayed a deliverance type prayer. I believed but felt nothing. He said “It’s gone”. So I ran home. For the next month I had no emotions at all, quite supernatural, so I absolutely knew something was different. The first emotion that came back was an mild anger thing. I believe this deliverance from the effects of this oppression was pivotal in the rest of my life, in that I had more discernment between God’s voice and the other voices from the flesh and demonic sources and was able to make better choices. I still had to choose right things.
In July 1988 we moved from Christchurch to Waiuku to take up an accounting position in Reclaim Ltd in Penrose, Auckland. That was all replete with miracles as I got a new job during the 1987/88 Economic downturn. the Government paid for the shift, and my Dad put us up for the first 15 months then rented us a house in Papakura at a good rate.
We went to the Papakura Christian Fellowship with Pastor Brian Hay. One weekend I went on a men’s camp at Chosen Valley. In 1 meeting Steve Wooton prophesied over me that he saw me in Joseph’s pit. I felt God’s presence and confirmation, even though I didn’t like being in the pit. The story of Joseph in Genesis chapters 37 to 47 have always inspired me since, especially ch 45, vs 1 -17 where Joseph revealed his true identity to his brothers, especially vs 4 & 5, In Gen 45:8 he says: “ So now it was not you who sent me here, but God;” I suspect now I am moving from the prison to the palace. Of course life through all these years hasn’t been just that, but an overriding theme. Most days I live like I live in the palace, isn’t that where we are meant to live, Col 3:2 “ Set your minds …on what is above”. Vs 1 says above is where Christ is.
Just before our wedding in 1978 I could see we needed another car. Lee had a 1964 EH Holden Special sedan, automatic. It was getting tired and needed repairs to the auto transmission. It’s actually a bit of a classic car now. We walked into a car yard in Christchurch, Cooper Henderson, and were looking around. A salesman came up and started talking. He pointed to an orange/ red Toyota Corona 1974 and said it was a special deal because they had just purchased it as a trade-in but because their yard was full they had put selling price on of only $2,850, and they had paid $2,800 for it. I could see that was a good deal as I had been looking at these cars for a few weeks, 1 was $4,600. We got Frank Salisbury to look at it and he said ok. I said I had no money but we had Lee’s car to sell and would try to raise some finance. The salesmen said I have a good feeling about this, just give me $50 to hold it for you. I had no money but Lee had $50! Then I phoned Mum & Dad. They said they couldn’t help. 3 days later a cheque for $2,000 from Dad, as a loan initially, arrived in the mail, an investment with a law firm had just been repaid to him. So we got the car, and had our honeymoon in it. While on the honeymoon Dick Berry, a master salesman, sold Lee’s Holden for $1,000, a really good price and we completed the deal, thank you Jesus. All of our car deals since have had miraculous aspects, sometimes you have to wait a while, be patient, and trust God.
My next experience is one I have interpteted somewhat. Somewhere around 1991 we were at Kariotahi Beach, a West Coast part ironsand beach about 8 km from Waiuku. Lee & I were swimming in the surf with Joel and Kyle Willcocks. All of a sudden we we realised we were out of our depth, and felt the rip starting to affect us. Then 2 young guys appeared suddenly and helped us get back to waist level water again. The way they suddenly appeared and fairly suddenly left caused us to believe it was an angelic rescue. Only God really knows, but we are thankful for the rescuers anyway.
This reminds me of an incident around 1975, pre my salvation. I was riding my Suzuki 500 in Kelburn Parade in Wellington, a narrow street, when I was met by a large American car right in the middle of the Road. Suddenly I was past it safely. Now I suspect an angel removed me from harm.
While these events so far were important in my life, our overall life is lived on a more normal plane, often without any emotions or feelings. When I can’t sleep sometimes I suspect God is calling me to get up and pray. I spend an hour praying, reading my Bible, or a book, sometimes watch a video, tape, You Tube or Christian TV. When I get tired I go back to bed. Some times I do get something as an answer from God, but most times I just know He has heard me, He loves me and has my back. I believe all such times change me, whether I feel it or not. I wake up knowing God is in control and if I continue to trust Him things will get better, sooner or later. I have changed, but I don’t really know what has happened, that is our walk day to day with Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Father and the angels who are surrounding us.
I have a separate blog called “My Heart Operation Experience” where God intervened supernaturally in my life. I will just repeat briefly 2 occasions.
The first time was the day I had a treadmill test at Manukau Super Clinic on 11 April 2017. It was shown that my coronary arteries had blocked up again and I needed to have an angiogram. My first thought was that one of my stents had blocked and i needed restenting. That night, 11 April, I had my first spiritual intervention. I had a mental picture. I was on a gurney in the Cath Lab and I saw Jesus sitting in a chair opposite. He said to me “Murray, can you really trust me?” I was taken aback, but eventually said “Yes Lord”, and the picture disappeared. I see that now as a type of vision. This was part of a process where God was showing me that it was His will for me to have serious open heart surgery, a triple bypass, rather than trust Him for a miraculous healing. I believe now He was doing more with that situation than just a healing, maybe meet other people, maybe change my body, maybe as part of my book writing process, or something else.
While still in Auckland Hospital in July 2017, waiting for the infection to be cleared, I had an encounter with Jesus. It was like it was in my imagination, but very real. From later research, I now believe it was a spiritual vision. 2 weeks after my heart op, while I was still in hospital, I had a call from a nurse at Middlemore Hospital Plastic Surgery about the cancerous mole removal. When it was removed late May 2017, just before the heart op, I asked the surgeon, Bryce, how much he had removed. He said they predetermined how much to cut. Either he or his boss had told my heart surgeon Breckon they believed they had taken it all out. Now the nurse said they wanted to remove another 2 cm (an inch is 2.54 cm) around the whole area. This is standard procedure to make sure no more cancer remains. My sister Val has had this done. My wife Lee had to have 2 extra surgical cuts since where her mole was. Anyway, I was lying in my hospital bed when I saw a picture in my imagination where I was outside a Module waiting room at Manukau Super Clinic. I looked in the window and saw Jesus there. I can’t really tell you much about how He looked, I just knew it was Jesus. I walked into the room and He said, straight up, “Well Murray, what have you decided”. I said “I have had enough, I don’t want this extra op.” He said, “Well, you know my principles and laws” and then turned around and walked away! When I kind of came to again, I realized what had happened and I cried for perhaps 20 minutes, just a man cry and sniffles. I talked to Plastics again a few days later and said no to any more ops. Since then they have put me on 3 monthly review and its all good, 18 months later. I have researched melanoma and skin cancer, there are horror stories, so I understand the doctors playing safe with everyone. I am not everyone, I have a get out of op card. I did the heart op as obedience to Jesus. All healing comes from God. We have to discern His delivery system in each situation. That’s why we need our own personal relationship with God. We can’t rely on the pastor, or a prophet, or a doctor, or your wife, they can help you discern Gods will in any situation, but Me and Jesus have all the votes.
I was saved in Charisma Chapel (Apostolic Church) in Webb St, Wellington, under the ministry of Pastor James Worsfold. Soon after, he emphasized the importance of getting water baptised. At the time I was encouraged to believe I would be baptised in the Holy Spirit at the same time. That didn’t happen, but afterwards I had several prophecies over me, I only remember the verse “deep calls to deep” Ps 42:7. Then everyone gave me a hug. later that night it felt like waves of love washing over me, probably the first feelings I had as a Christian. The next night I went for a run, when a dog ran at me from behind. When I turned round he yelped and ran away barking. Maybe he saw my angel.
Just a week ago, in 2021, I had my 2nd Covid jab. As I walked to my car a pitbull cross dog jumped a 1.75 m fence and came at me, barking and snarling. I yelled at him “Go away, in Jesus Name! “ The confrontation lasted, seemingly 1 or 2 minutes, with 3 episodes. I was not bitten. Then he ran off and found a hole to get back inside. Footnote: I complained to Animal Control because the dog had threatened local kids. It has been relocated to a safer place and the owner has been fined.
Going back to about August, 1975, maybe a month after I was praying at home after being prayed for many times at church to be baptised in the Holy Spirit, in 1975, with nothing seemingly happening. I read John 16:24, then Psalm 51. Then I had a period of laughing and weeping in joy and felt something come up inside me, then my jaws locked. Lots of people gave me advice but it was another 40 years nearly before I spoke in tongues. I was listening to an Andrew Wommack video, and he just said do it in faith. So I did, I felt nothing but just kept on practising from time to time for 2 or 3 more years. I came into contact with Jonathan Welton from seeing him on Sid Roth about 2011 about his new book “Eyes of Honour” which is primarily about dealing with addiction to pornography, but is really the best Better Covenant Teaching on living the righteous life of Christ - see 2 Cor 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin[fn] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” NIV. Anyway, thats another blog, another book. I found Jon’s video on the baptism of the Holy Spirit and watched that. At the end , he just said “I will pray in tongues now, you just try and copy me”, so I did and I ended up praying as I had before and just felt God’s blessing and anointing and God saying “You already had it”.
Now of course I didn’t copy Jonathan’s words, that was impossible, but it activated my tongue, which is unique. I try to pray a bit every day in tongues, in faith, often after my many times a night toilet visits. I do it in faith, believing, and I seem to feel better, without my brain and emotions necessarily any the wiser, but I KNOW I am different and God has my case in hand.
I have now recalled another event about 1978 in Radio Rhema. There was a person working with me who turned out to be jockeying for a position of influence in Rhema, unbeknown to me, a relatively young Christian still, less than 2 years. Anyway, he was asked to go after some high level discussions. Dick Berry called me into his office to discuss what connection I had. In the discussion the room was filled with what i now term “the dread of God”. I realised that God so fully backed Dick that anything anyone did to oppose Dick opposed God. I didn’t feel I had done anything wrong but I had a fresh appreciation of the Almighty and Absolute authourity of God. The Bible says “the fear of the Lord brings wisdom”. While I know that can be translated as “reverential fear” and God is Love, the awesome and awful fact is He is God. Just a flick of His finger and we are a fatty mess.
In 1976, 3 months after my salvation, I was invited to an after work farewell of a NZ Dairy Board colleague at a bar nearby. By then I had stopped drinking alcohol but I thought oh well… I had 3 12 oz glasses of lager then went home. At 11 pm I cooked up a meal and started eating. Suddenly I just felt really weirdly ill and was ill both ends, you know what I mean. I just felt inside me that God was saying thats it. I have never drunk beer since, in over 45 years now. I had 1 small spirits glass just to be social, but no other spirits since. Lee & started wine & cider socially about 13 or so years ago, so I am not totally abstinent now as I was for over 30 years. That’s my experience and calling, not a doctrine.